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Latest
news - Time is Monkey.
22.05.08 - Dave and my good self visited the emerald isle for the occasion of Helen and Charlies wedding, it was a really great day which we enjoyed very much. We may have also drank a little and traveled a stupid number of miles without sleep... I am still the mission specialist. The Irish Weekend
22.05.08 - We went to the beer festival, we drank beer, we reviewed the beers in a very controlled manner and I got round to scanning in the reviews today, download the pdfs here: THE BEER LIST and THE CIDER LIST enjoy!
22.09.06 - A Slightly less disturbing game I made in two days - THIS IS MUCH BETTER (note: still probably quite disturbing.)
18.09.06 - A horrible game I made in a day - DONT PLAY THIS
04.07.06 - Yep we saw them all, and got chased by a shitty lemur (pics and vids soon) Since everyone else in the country cared about the football on Saturday we chose that time to utilise the empty roads and head over to Woburn safari park. We saw lions, bears, rhino, wolves... oh and furry lil monkeys! we could not find a england flag to attach to the car on the way, tesco had been chav raided and were clean out, so we had to settle for watching the shiny new landrover a few cars infront of us getting it painwork all angry hot monkey scratched up, there was some frantic waving and some jerky acceleration going on, but I think this just pissed the lil guy off. as I said, pics and videos maybe in a day, I'm just playing with codecs and whatnot, I'm moving onto using h.264 with mp3 audio in the standard avi wrapper, that means not much to many, so simply put it means nicer looking video that is a bit smaller (read quicker) to download. however this may require some updating of ye codecs, therfore if you cant view me getting some good monkey loving in THIS VIDEO then install an up to date codec such as (assuming you are on windows everyone else is computer literate enough to sort a codec or are on a mac with them built in) THIS
26.06.06 - I spent the weekend in Edinburgh, visiting Amanda and Emily who had been good enough to give me a place to sleep when holidaying in florida and are here on some sort of work overseas thing. I gather this involves sholving elephant poo and doing chicken autopsies... Anyway, while there I revisited the Whiskey heritage centre. The place has had a bit of a facelift especially in the shop - which now looks like one of those revolution vodka bars. Again I took in the cheesy history of Whiskey, it's origins, it's tumoiled past, it's development, it's making, it's current worlkwide state and it's hopeful future. Followed by the WILD barrel ride (I'm pretty sure it's scotlands 3rd fastest rollercoaster and it's not even on tracks!) I almost emptied my bowels when the dog barked at me. I tasted one or two and renewed my membership of the whiskey apprieciation society with four large whiskeys from the four whiskey producing areas. (and yep the island one was still way too smoky for my liking). All whiskey'd up we hit the pub for bugers and beers and then beers and beers and beers an...... There were boobs everywhere! a whole street filled with ladies in bras..... in the morning I had a big fried breakfast.
22.06.06 - I created a Hoff collage to say thanks to Jen, it's here.
21.06.06 - As you can tell from the main page the site is now rss'd up, ready for you to add to your aggrigated news page or indeed as a firefox live bookmark.
22.12.05 - Our work xmas party happened last night, it was a great show and we had a really good night, walking like Egyptions! photos here.
18.10.05 - Just returned from a chavtastic holiday weekend, having no days spare and not wanting to spend much 4 of us did the haven holiday experience in Hastings, got very drunk, played golf, ate packets of grease and watched the dire entertainment (being drunk helped it emmensly). Hastings has a very nice old town section. pictures HERE.
08.09.05 - Fantastic
pigroast! thanks all who attended, hope you all had a good time, page
up HERE
feel free to use the comment box, I'll format the page for comments a
bit better at a later stage.
28.06.05 - A short
letter To you
all.
the pig roast with be on the Saturday 3rd of September, at 23 Fen Road,
Timberland, Lincoln, LN4 3SD (multimap the postcode for a good map)
for me the pig roast begins in the evening of the Friday before, at
that point the pig arrives, I prepare it, with salt and good
flavourings. I then have to arrange all the pig roast kit, and sip a
few beers while discussing manly things like fire, airflow dynamics and
where the hell my next beer is.
around midnight I set light to around 15-20kg of charcoal and while
that gets itself going I grab a large metal pole and walk determinedly
towards mr Oinky.
15 good minutes of squealing later myself and whoever is happy to carry
the arse end of a pig on a pole return and hoist our newly deflowered
friend over the bed of glowing coals.
I then sit and drink beer for the next 10-12 hours, turning our friend
every 20 mins, leaving us with a perfectly cooked pig for around
lunchtime.
everyone should be up and arrived around this time, for then we eat,
drink and be merry till late into Saturday night. those who do not
manage as late into the night as I do are pretty crappy when you
consider I have been up and drinking since Friday evening.
so there you go.
20.01.05
Back from Bulgaria where I was snowboarding, much fun and a bit of
concussion! pics HERE,
maybe Scotland next time.
09.09.04 Post Roast, The
pig was fine the roast a roaring success, I'm sure everyone had the
best time, I know I did. Pictures - HERE
in other news Jackie has had the baby!! wooo a 6 pound 4 bundle of joy,
poo and wee, good for them! I hope to see Jackie, Mark and lil baby
Cole soon.
02.06.04 Ancient story
from Alton towers linked up PAGE 1
and PAGE
2 enjoy.
02.06.04 Monkeyworld
rocked, see pics HERE
also just read the biggest live journal entry ever, if you are on
livejournal I'm captain_ken rock on.
31.05.04 Florida page up
HERE
and most drunken weekend ever HERE
I've just returned from Monkeyworld weekend which was fab. update later
sleep now xx.
09.05.04 I work, stupid
hard work. To make things worse I'm on tablets... oh hold on, no the
tablets are to make things better the bad bit is I can't have a drink
on them. Good news, the weekend till this point was fantastic, drinking
was done fun was had, kites were flown, sunny beaches visited, and
brass monkeys thawed eventually. I tested Bridget, it turns out that
she is indeed as hardcore as suspected, drinking to the dudes of
Baseketball was enough to make me pass out comically (although the
early morning gins and nasty Amadeus probably helped), Bidget however
managed to keep cool and sleep without being too foolish. In other
news, Florida approaches with incredible speed, I just sorted my
insurance and am trying to work out what needs to be done to my hair in
preparation. Till later when I update more, adios chirpy.
02.05.04 About to sleep
after a very busy weekend. The beer festival of Friday and Saturday was
as always a spectacular of beery goodness. We drank everything from poo
beer to something almost drinkable. We ate pig and met overweight beer
experts. We all had a good time although I have yet to get reports of
how today went as I left to attend a day of racing at rockingham. The
company I work for sponsors a team and as such we get the vip treatment
when there. It has been sunny and good, so as I now settle down to a
basketball drinking game session with my lil bro, I do say BEER IS
GOOD.
14.04.04 An Easter page
is up in drunken stuff, and the galleries section is all new. I've
found that updating my website while chatting to Emily make the website
actually get updated, and I'm pretty sure I can still hold the
conversation minus that extra concentration, she is american after all.
Oh man she's gonna kick my ass when she reads this.
13.04.04 Easter is over,
but I'm, still aching from Saturdays killer golf. By 5am Sunday morning
Me, Chrisy, KC, and Mark were utterly trashed as can be heard from this audio clip.
clearly KC and Mark were pissing and puking everywhere.
06.04.04 The promised
new page is here. all smile hard as you can for... The Maximum Teeth
Gallery! In other news, the busy
period at work is over, normality is resuming, and I am once again a
lonely soul needing stuff to occupy my time. Feel free to make
suggestions and invite me to parties.
12.03.04 Ahhh an update,
with main billing upon us I am busy, I make all the yearly council tax
bills so have been too busy making people unhappy to update anything, HERE
now though are a few exclusive shots of just how busy this period is
for me. NOTE: it really is busy these were just a few late night
moments.
17.02.04 A quick update,
I got bored and found me on the Internet, an email was sent ah bugger
just look here Discovery
of me. Also today I've found out
that I work far too hard, laters.
27.01.04 Morning! I just
updated this a bit, see see, oh and the front page too, nothing else,
have a spooky day planned on Friday, so far only me and Helen
confirmed, but hopefully Dave and George and some people Helen know
will tag along to see the tower and eat monstrously spooky food, my
poem about Londons spookiness can be found here - SPOOKY London Poem.
12.01.04 Oh yeah the
Devon Holiday rocked, should have said about a week ago! pics up when I
sort them, for now heres a well compressed video from the aquarium
Microsoft seem to be pissing everyone off with their media player crap
these days but the divx player still seems to play this mp4 based
format ok, try it, one day when we're all on broadband and I have
gigabytes of webspace I'll put up some nice quality versions. Who wants
to convert all my vids to some sort of clever steaming format?
10.01.04
Table Inserter Program Created, tis for Dave, but if anyone else wants
it it wraps a table around a webpage htm file, the 10k (thats
uncompressed) exe is here
(you
may need to hold shift to download) and the installer containing both
exe and Foxpro's silly 3 megabyte runtime library is Here
so there, Dave has no excuse for not updating the ol site., oh and if
you want that updated then say so.
06.01.04 Ate a little
toast, drank 4 cups of water, had to wee. stupid Jackie news has burned
all my journalistic talent for the week, oooh just found a paperclip...
05.01.04 Jackie is
Pregnant! Wow thats like real news, I'm getting good at this. Shocking
but true, I've always thought Jackie was great, I would have asked her
out in a second had it not been that she smoked to much/ drank too
much/ killed too many people and her gran smelled of beetroot (I don't
like beetroot). Now she's pregnant and has stopped smoking! Dammit, if
I'd simply knocked her up.... I mean, why didn't I think of that??
along with a bunch of restraints and a airtight granny flat I could
have had the perfect... Oh well, Here's to the the happy couple and
their august time arrival. Congratulations Jackie and Mark, what a way
to start the new year!
22.12.03 We went to
westminster, we joined in the fun of their council xmas party, I got
drunk and I fell over. It was good and a real chance to show myself up
and get banned from ever attending client bashes ever again. Oh and I
got to meet pooh bear! So here you have a lovely page of drunkenness
from the Westminster
Council Party
15.12.03 Ahh The office
xmas party, it was good fun, I fell over a few times, drank lots, and
watched sarah tabledancing woohoo! actually, cauht video footage of
said dancing. Helen accompanied me and had a pretty good time I think
although it was bed early for her since she was a little on the poorly
side. This did mean she could drive mine and Sarah's drunken asses home
the next day though which was nice. pictures here - The DSI Xmas Party.
04.12.03 Weekly updates
i said, during a drunken conversation with dave at the weekend. I
decided that from now to christmas I would do some sort of update at
least once a week. Here we are on a bright and sunny thursday,
I am back from Arkansas and as such have been putting together an Arkansas page.
It's almost there, just need to remember what happened during those
last three pictures....
09.10.03 got into work this morning feeling a little blarggg, then
found a huge stash of free bacon rolls. I have eaten four, much to the
dismay of heath/weight concious collegues. I feel much better for it,
here's to days of free bacon and hot naked girls.... that line should
get me a few more hits.
08.10.03 I'm going to
Arkansas baby!!! on the 21st of November I will be flying to the sleepy
town of Fayetteville. Just because one day I decided I would, if I
hadn't bought the tickets almost straight away I would have bottled out
but now I'm going and I'm really excited! holiday baby!!!
14.07.03 Yes yes I know
it's been a long time since I did anything to the site... well that's
how it would appear, in fact I have been uploading the pictures from
recent events fairly regularly, I have however been too lazy to link
the pages up so have just been emailing direct links to friends. I am
fixing this selfish situation right away.
So yes news, Just back from france last week, all is well. Oh and I'm
rediculously tanned from all the recent hot weather.
01.05.03 just got back
from work, feel like doing a little bit of my website. Dictation rules,
in fact the only bad thing at the moment, is that's I have black feet
syndrome from new socks.
25.04.03 Yep I've been
lazy but also busy and I'll, I have often thought I should really
update the site tonight before falling into a coma like sleep and
waking the next morning.
Oh well, I'm gonna pack things and head for home, I have a cunning
plan. Check you all on monday!.
04.04.03 It's 5am, very
blurry. Going home today after work, home home, gonna shine the car up
get it all road worthy again.
Til then have a tickly cough and snotty nose, oh yeah and I found a
within last three years pic of Owen just to get on his nerves.
03.04.03 Morning, just
uploaded a killer pool page I fell asleep during the making of last
night. All is well, Donna poped by yesterday which was a nice surprise.
Off to work now, enjoy the page, more writing up in work today
methinks.
27.03.03 I have blue
hair, along with blue hands and ears etc, I have uploaded a page about
the magna trip and I don't want to go to work today.
21.03.03 Off to reading
now, must drink punch before Dave and Paul slurp it all.
Couple more people on The Who's who page now, Sorting more pics and
descriptions during my bored time at work.